Friday, June 24, 2011
Rethinking my Thinking
All of this "differentness" (which I know will serve her well in life and makes her so unique) can be hard on mom. It's not that I want her to conform to some random notion of how a child should be. And it's not that my other three are without their moments. It's that with my youngest, the moments are unending and usually very complicated with a probable side of destruction. She requires near-constant supervision, which is simply not realistic. I need to be able to throw in a load of laundry. Or take a shower. Or go out to the garden to water for five minutes and not worry that when I come back in the project my oldest has been working on for five days will but cut into a million different pieces and stuffed under a bookcase. Or that a glue stick has been used to decorate the couch. Or that the piano keys have been covered with permanent marker. (All real-life example and all happened on the same day.) Obviously being negative doesn't work. But NOT getting negative can be hard when you're at the end of your rope.
So in my time alone, I was rethinking everything. I haven't come up with anything too major yet. But I'm tackling the issue from another angle - starting backwards, if you will. This usually works for me when I have a problem or situation and I find myself doing the same thing over and over and getting no where. One thing I'm in the process of deciding is her education path for next year. I feel like there will be a big change coming for her and I, and that it will be a good thing. I have no interest in sending her to school, but I'm rethinking what her days will look like at home. The hard part there is explaining this difference to the other kids. I also have already decided that I need to make a wish board/inspiration board so that when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope I can find the energy to tie a knot and hang on!